I am writing at midnight on Tuesday, my grandson’s fifth birthday. We have been back from Minnesota only a few hours after spending three days there helping him celebrate.  It was a time filled with joy and wonder for both grandson and grandparents until… yesterday.

On Monday, I answered my phone to hear the tense voice of an old friend who recited a brief, factual message: her ex-husband, a good friend of mine was involved in a fatal car accident near his home in Tennessee.  I couldn’t grasp the content of the message because I thought I heard the word, “fatal” and asked, he was involved in what kind of accident? I still have not begun to process the news, so I can only imagine what his family is going through. I pulled up my friend’s Facebook page to see the memorial messages had begun to stack up on his wall and that made things seem even more surreal.

Just a few days earlier, I learned of a fundraiser for a high school classmate of my son who has brain cancer.  I recall his father’s death from colon cancer when he was in his forties.

The shock, the feelings of helplessness, the questions about life, death, God, etc. are the typical companions of the grieving process as we try to make sense where there is none.

I find that my many years of being a pastor and being with families as they grieve makes it no easier for me, as I try  to figure how to walk with friends who are wading through grief and complicated relational dynamics.

So, my way of dealing with death is to think about life and wonder if I have learned anything in 55 years, hoping that this brief visit to earth is lived to its fullest.  My little personal awakenings seem like they usually happen after times of intense pain.  In other words I learn things the hard way.  My list has changed a lot in recent years.  Here it is.

Listen to your heart; God is speaking.  The voices of expectation and conventional wisdom are loud.  God’s usually speaks in whisper mode and you have to really get really desperate and filter out a lot atmospheric noise to hear him.

Give your life to something you care about.  Even though it may take a lot of sacrifice, preparation and time to make the transition, don’t spend your entire lifespan doing something you don’t like,

Speak your mind.  Wake people from their sleepy ruts.  If you unleash who are in God’s design, some people will think you have lost your mind and you will be regarded a troublemaker, but some people will love you and listen.

Love for the sake of loving. It is the most Jesus like thing you can do and the most transformational for you and other people. Do it without ulterior motive, just because humans deserve to be loved.

Do whatever it takes to express love to your wife or husband and children.  You will never regret it, but you will regret it to your dying day, if you do not.  Take the initiative.  Keep gently, persistently chipping away at resistance.

Be flexible because you will be on the receiving end of more curve balls than you can count.  Don’t give up your goals, but be willing to adapt lots of new strategies and to scrap a lot of old ones that should have worked, but didn’t.

Be honest.  We are all wounded, but we can all be healers too.

Don’t give up. The important things in life will take your entire life to do.

Look for joy anywhere you can find it and laugh a lot.

Hold on to God’s peace and love.  It’s yours!  Never forget it!

Thanksgiving is a timeout in the football game of life. This Thanksgiving Day is a time of warm family get-togethers for many and a reminder of great personal pain and loss for others.  Whichever it is for you, it is good time to remember what this game is all about.

There are so many forces that shape our lives, but none have the sheer power of words. Psychologists have written much about how verbal messages are remembered for a lifetime and they are among the most powerful factors in shaping our identity.  It’s interesting that most of the discussion has been around the negative things we are told about ourselves, rather than the positive.

This phenomenon is often likened to a record and playback function.  The original message may have been spoken on the fly or by an angry or misguided person, but once we hear it; it is recorded, and played back over and over again.  Like some sort of weird, self imposed brainwashing, we tend to repeat these messages until we begin believing and saying them ourselves.

Here are some personal examples:

Parents: “No, you can’t go.” When I wanted to do things with my friends, I was often told, “no” which stymied some normal social development in my life.  I should have made a stronger case, instead of being so compliant.

Parents of teenagers when I was a youth pastor: “Why don’t you go to school, so that you will amount to something?”  I had the presence of mind to say that I dropped out of college when I felt that it didn’t align with my life purpose.  I went on to say that I may go to back someday (I did and got a degree.), but I didn’t need to do it to “amount to something”.

The director of a social agency where I was applying for a job:  “You are angry at the church.”  I replied that I should be angry about some things and so should you.

Same dude:  “I can’t hire you because you are not a member of an institutional, bricks and mortar church.”  My response: This policy is totally disenfranchising for a huge and growing segment of the church.

I have also heard some very encouraging things too, though I don’t think they have the sticking power of the negative ones. Many of the positive messages have come from people who are involved with ventures and partnerships on the Internet and in real life which are my current focus.

Back to the negative messages, it’s time to press the “delete” button and record some new messages.  The new messages reflect what God says about you as the object of his intense, sacrificial, unconditional love.  The new messages reflect what is truly in your heart and who you truly are, rather than some sort of ill fitting expectations that people have tried to force on you.  The new messages will unleash the potential and uniqueness that God has given you.

Believing these new messages will not only improve your mental and emotional health; they will make you a little dangerous… at least to some people.

Imagine what it would be like to be one of Jesus, hand-picked messengers sent out with supernatural empowerment to give witness to the fact that he and his kingdom is here, among us.  Now imagine what it would be like once you returned to Jesus from your journey. It was like a bunch of people who just come back home after an amazing mission trip to an impoverished country… only on steroids.

This method is so Jesus-like. Let the followers hang around and do life together with him for just a little while, then send them out into very real world situations while they still feel very ill prepared, and when they return, ask them what they learned.

The messengers were pretty excited about the supernatural stuff they witnessed. The supernatural captures people’s attention and a lot of people are always seeking it like it is the center of God’s kingdom.  But Jesus quickly diverted the focus of the conversation by injecting that the cool thing was that they were part of his kingdom. The passage goes on to say that Jesus was filled with joy and rejoiced that this highly unlikely bunch of commoners and societal rejects were beginning to get what his kingdom was about.

So, then…

The best thing about life is being a part of God’s Kingdom.

It is a good day to be a powerless and/or disenfranchised person.

We get to join in on God’s work, which begs some questions that we must each answer for ourselves.  What is it?  Where is he working?  How is he working? What is my role?

We just had the crutches knocked out from under us. We can’t use the excuse that I am a nobody or that I have issues of my own.

The greatest power on earth is not vested in world leaders, nor manifested in the supernatural.  Rather it is in an ordinary person with issues of his own joining with God’s work in the world.

Based on Luke 10:17-23.

I was trained in a strict fundamentalist Bible College. While I was a student I was required to sign a pledge that I would not indulge in worldly entertainment, like rock music, movies, and I think, even opera made the list of no no’s (the only one that was no personal sacrifice). I was required to dress a certain way and maintain a clean cut look that mirrored the image of what a good fundamentalist Christian looked like. I was taught what to believe about every aspect of theology down to the minutest detail. As I look back to those days of academic training, I see one thing was sorely missing… the freedom to question and express doubt.

It is not just fundamentalist institutions, but the whole culture of Christianity that discourages questions and ignores doubt because it threatens the foundations of the faith and the church system. Personally, it is scary when we first entertain these new thoughts. It creates a dissonance within us as the new ideas call into question what we were taught and what we thought we embraced. We fear that we may have become the very heretics that our teachers have warned us about.

The whole deconstruction, questioning, and doubting process is a type of spiritual adolescence. Children are vulnerable and inexperienced, so they need a lot of structure and instruction. Yet, the only path to adulthood involves passing through that messy phase of human development that tends to drive parents crazy, called adolescence.

Adolescence and young adulthood is time of transition and turmoil in which adult teaching and parental values are tested, which involves doubting, questioning, and experimentation. The end result is a set of values which are truly owned as opposed to merely being recited or mimicked. Ironically, I have found that most young adults wind up embracing values that are not far removed from those of their parents, because they found that they withstood testing.

I created a sister website with the help of a lot of friends, called Communitas Collective. The writing for the site embraces a wide spectrum of beliefs and personalities. The core theology of some team members is basically that of historical Christianity, though they may have some issues with how the church has been going about its work. Others are out there in the vast, open land of questions and doubts, far removed from the structures of certainty and very unsure about any Christian beliefs. I have invited this varied group of individuals here to this place of safety for a several reasons.

• I respect them as individuals.
• Their journey is reflective of many others who will benefit from their writings.
• The church needs to hear from outsiders and embrace them as Jesus did.
• Anything that is true can withstand the most severe questions and doubts.
• The process of questioning and doubting usually leads to a more closely embraced faith.

Doubting and questioning is uncomfortable because it disturbs a false peace within us with real tests. Yet, there is a great reward at the end of the process, when we come out with a much shorter list of things we believe and, because of what we do believe; we are not sweating that long list of things that we still wonder about.

Last week, the tragedy at Fort Hood pre-empted the news media’s steady diet of programming on health care reform, troop levels for Afghanistan, and silly celeb updates.  The horrific event has triggered a debate about many issues within our military, but has also begged the question about whether this mass murder was an act of terrorism carried out by an Islamic extremist.  We just don’t know yet and we, obviously, need to be careful about stereotyping and unnecessarily turning a tragedy into an even worse situation.

The news about the mass killings at the Texas Army installation, spurred my thinking about religious sensitivity. When it comes to Muslims’, there are peace loving Muslims who want to be good citizens and there are extremist Muslims who commit mass murder as a badge of religious honor.  Muslim leaders certainly have a responsibility to denounce the violence done in the name of their religion.

I had missionary friends who were among the very last Americans to leave Iran before the Islamic Revolution.  They insisted that the Iranian people were the most gracious people they had ever known and that their many Iranian friends could not believe that they were from “The Great Satan”.

Other missionary friends who made regular clandestine trips into northern Africa explained that most Muslims were like most Christians… very nominal in their faith and performing the outward rituals of piety to keep up appearances ( and perhaps, in their case, to avoid persecution).

I understand the concerns of Muslims who are afraid that a few radicalized murders will cause suspicion to fall upon all American Muslims and I think those who are following Jesus’ teaching will take measures to alleviate their concerns.

This whole religious sensitivity debate has another side, i.e., Christians who get upset when government policy and prevailing culture does support their beliefs.  Yet, in a free society, one would want the government to protect your freedoms, including religious freedom, rather than to support a particular sect.

I have heard all of the arguments about the faith of America’s founding fathers and how we are turning away from it and how the constitution is being wrongly interpreted. There are occasional cases in which Christian religious practices and appropriate freedoms have been threatened.  But whininess about how Christian beliefs have fallen out of favor in the culture and government does not serve the cause of Christ; living out his love and demonstrating his kingdom does!

Jesus spoke about how a rejection of the message about him was not so much a rejection of the messenger, as it was a reject of him. (Luke 10:16).

We would do well to follow the example of our leader and not be so sensitive toward our own issues and focus on being sensitive and loving toward others, especially those who may be fearing repercussions because of a horrible act that an extremist did in the name of their religion.  It not as though there have not been so-called Christian extremists and deranged people who have done horrible things in the name of Christianity.

I found this video on Aaron’s site.

In my last job, I packed home a laptop every evening and occasionally worked from home.  What I did, determined how phone calls were routed for many internationally known companies.  I am just old enough to find that sort of mind boggling.

About three years ago, I began to blog, something, which up until then, I thought was really stupid.  Soon it fulfilled a needed outlet for self expression and connection and I was hooked.  Every once and awhile I would wonder if it was a worthy activity, but would always come back to it, essentially deciding that it was useful.  I hit several busy months and my daily posts became weekly visits and now I have moderated to posting about three times a week as a kind of personal therapy, self discipline, and opportunity to connect with some interesting people.

This digital world of connection applications and social media is constantly developing.  Blogs were the big deal, then YouTube, then My Space, then Facebook, and then Twitter.  Now applications that help applications talk to each other are popular.  Like all new media, it has created new opportunities and new problems.  Now employers troll the net to find out more about prospective employees.  Privacy is forever lost.  It is no longer sensible to pour out heart on some issues on the net, perhaps, it never was.  Of course, these new technologies provide new avenues for advertising which is what fuels them with profitability.

I am a gadget guy with, complete with iPhone, iPod, digital cameras, Flip video camera, etc.  I truly enjoy that stuff, but sometimes, I get over “technologized” and just have to pull away.   As cool as all of this stuff is, I am so much more energized by a good face-to-face conversation or an accomplishment in the real world.

One of the concerns I have is that most people younger than me would rather text somebody than talk to them.  It seems like we have made communication increasingly impersonal, whether it is customer service, which has become laughable for many companies, or communicating with a friend.  It is as if we don’t want to have to talk to anyone or communicate in more than 140 characters.

Technology has given people the opportunity to connect on a meaningful level who may have never known each other if it did not exist.  But is has also depersonalized communication in a way that keeps people from relating to one another in ways that are the most meaningful  I fear those important relational and communication skills are dying off from atrophy.

I used to be a mourner, thinking about what I lost, but these days I am trying to follow the rhythm of God’s Spirit and see what is unfolding.  So, my eyes are on the spindly, little flowers of new life, blooming in the cracks of the sidewalks of prevailing and passing culture.

I never wondered if there is a future for the church, because that’s a settled thing in God’s eyes.  So, I ask myself, where is the future for the church? I invite you to dream with me and ask yourself, what if…

What if… churches became denaturalized in relationship to their power structure and their geographical location? (Shift: Consolidated to Decentralized)

There were little groups of people wanting to live out Christ’s teachings meeting in homes, bars, and coffee shops.  The church leaders regarded themselves as facilitators for people who birthed various ministries and community services.

What if … church buildings became community centers hosting anything that was a way to live out the good news of Jesus? (Shift: Word to Action)

There were all sorts of community nonprofits organizations using church building for offices and activities and the church building was seldom ever idle, but became the happening place for whatever the community needed.

What if… churches focused upon nurturing followers of Jesus rather than getting people in programs? (Shift: Programs to Relationships)

People were encouraged and equipped to help one another along in life through friendships and mentoring relationships.

What if… Jesus became paramount? (Shift: Everything Else to Jesus)

Churches didn’t worry about membership, programs, building an organization, and straightening out everyone’s beliefs, but rather focused upon loving and being loved by Jesus and living out his life of love for others.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.  Perhaps, you have some more, “what if’s”.

I have always wanted to change the world, but it seemed like I didn’t know how and I didn’t know many people who presented huge socio-economic need.

Oh, I had some experiences as a pastor working with drug addicts and we helped people in our little down-and-outer congregation in a multitude of ways… food and furniture donations, paying utility bills, transportation to therapy and drug rehab sessions.  We even did several random acts of kindness and washed cars for free, gave away bottles of water and cans of soda at events, held neighborhood dinners, and even stood at a toll way exit ramp to pay people’s tolls.

The house church that I am part of has developed a relationship with a family that is entangled in a web of medical, developmental, mental, physical, and monetary needs.  We try to do something for them as it presents itself, like cleaning, putting on a new roof, transportation to doctor’s appointments and follow-up medical assistance.

However, like most white, suburban, followers of Christ, I am not very up close and personal with really obviously disadvantaged people.

Now, I have begun a new chapter in my life by studying nonprofit management, a profession that I have chosen as my career. My studies and interaction with practitioners from around the world have opened my eyes to see what a high level of leadership and creativity is needed for a nonprofit organization to be truly successful in improving outcomes for their clients.  I am beginning to work with a local nonprofit organization by providing some help in strategic planning.  So, reaching out effectively to disadvantaged people is on my mind.  I have a lot of questions and few convictions are beginning to form.

Things We Have Tried (Observations)

Another way to look at these measures, is by considering them to be an initial, rather than long term responses to needs.  They may be necessary and good, but something more is needed.

Blessing. It is good to be just bless people, I mean, to do something like buy lunch for a panhandler and talk to him or to take time to treat the most disenfranchised and despised person with profound respect.  It won’t change the world, but it might bring a little sunshine to one life, which it very cool.

Money. Money alone won’t fix anything other than the immediate crisis. It might be a good thing to do, it will run out or the situation that created the crisis will arise again.

Quickies. Your can’t fix much in an hour or in a once-a-year Sharefest.  Again, you can bring a little sunshine to someone for a little while.  You can make volunteers feel better.  You can be a good (though brief) demonstration of the gospel, but probably not much that is long term will result.

Charity. Giving things away won’t solve long term issues.  It might be the right thing to do, especially, if we have too much and someone else does not have enough, but its effects will be limited, if the root causes are not addressed.

Programs in which people give things away have some unwanted effects.

1. People will try to circumvent the rules. (If you have a “two bags of groceries per family” rule at your food pantry, someone will say, my cousin and his wife moved in with us, can I have two more bags?)
2. The service providers will turn into the charity police, making sure that people are not taking advantage of the system by putting more rules into effect.
3. Most everybody will have some “challenges” with their attitude over time.

Things That Need Trying (Principles)

These principles are ideas for more of a long term response.

Oportunity. People do not have an equal opportunity.  I argue this point with people frequently.  Some people are disadvantaged.  Some need an advocate.  Some need inspiration.  Some need information.  Some just need to know that they don’t have to continue in the same conditions.

Dignity. People need to be treated with dignity and respect, no matter what.  That means not treating them like personal projects or pawns in a program.

Relationships. People need the trust and comfort that comes through long term, honest and loving relationships. That involves a commitment to get to know a person, rather than a hit-and-run approach.

Giving Back. People need the opportunity to give something back.  It is part of respecting them and treating them with dignity, but, it’s hard to design avenues for them to give back.  It is easier and quicker to just give them something.

Long Term. People giving back, is the hope of lifting them and their community out of their negative situations.  It’s the idea behind food pantries becoming cooperatives that offer low cost food and jobs for people in the neighborhood. The clothing closet becomes a thrift store.  The charity becomes a business with a purpose.

This is an oversimplification. Certainly, there are disadvantaged people who need us to get them in touch with services that will meet pressing needs.

What I have written about is also complex and takes a high level leadership, creativity, and the expertise of people with diverse skills.

These thought are just me beginning to sort out my thoughts, but the needs are real.  The long term solutions are challenging.  It will take us way out of our comfort zones.  But what a worthy challenge!

I would love to hear your thoughts.

My question implies that I have undergone some changes. That is almost laughable because so much has changed… externally, in my circumstances and internally, in my perspectives. I often say that my faith has been stripped down to the barest of bare bones and that I have become an enemy to my former self. Of course I can more easily identify things in my past that I no longer believe much easier than I can discern what is left and what may have grown stronger through transition, but here I will take a stab at both.

I don’t believe that church is an organization and programs.
I do believe that church is a way of life that involves relationships.

I don’t believe that allegiance to an organization should be equated to faithfulness to God.
I do believe that faithfulness to God is best revealed to us when our life falls apart and there is little else to rely upon.

I don’t believe the best way to understand God is through trying to systematize our understanding of him, as we commonly understand theology.
I do believe that the better way to understand God is in the way he has revealed himself, through narrative, story, relationships, nature, and experiences.

I don’t believe that buildings and paid personnel are important to be the church.
I do believe that community and being an active demonstration of God’s kingdom are important to be the church.

I don’t believe that packaged materials and church leadership trends have served the church well.
I do believe that church is based in relationships and a uniquely local response.

I don’t believe that most people are far from God.
I do believe that they are far from the church, but God is at work in their lives.

I don’t believe in excluding people because they don’t fully agree with our understanding of God.
I do believe in a church that is safe place for doubters and questioners, because that which is true can withstand questions and doubts and because we need to love and accept one another without qualifiers.

I don’t believe in an evangelistic sales pitch.
I do believe in the sheer force of a person living out Jesus’ teachings.

I don’t believe in a secular/spiritual divide.
I do believe that God is in no way confined in his working

I don’t believe in forsaking community because it is hard, or, at times, painful.
I do believe in nurturing relationships and community wherever you find them.

I don’t think the church is falling apart.
I do think the institutional church system is being questioned and frequently away turned from, but something more true to its beginnings and the current culture will, to great extent, take its place.

I never intended to write a series of articles about what has happened to me, but writing is largely personal therapy.  So, this exercise has been helpful.  I have already considered changes in my political and cultural perspectives. In this post, I will consider the personal and psychological changes that have happened in the last few years.

I used to be bound by responsibilities forced upon me because of my occupation.
Now, I choose my responsibilities.

I used to give my family whatever time my church and civic involvement schedule could afford.
Now, I prioritize times with family.

I used to be worried about what people thought about me and my family.
Now, I try to be who I am and let others do the same.

I used to have my course in life figured out.
Now, I have had to forge a whole new focus for my life that is true to my identity.

I used to have a very strong and specific sense of calling.
Now, I still do, and it is the same in general terms, but different, in specific terms.

I used to try to manage my image, including my language and displays of emotion.
Now, I am more real with people.

I used to love a way of doing church.
Now I love the church.

I used to mentally categorize people.
Now, I probably still do, but try to accept them and find ways to love them.

I used to do more things out of shear obligation and expectation.
Now, I do more things because of positive inner motivation.

I used to worry about change and conflict.
Now, I understand them to be a part of life and try to take them in stride.

I used to think of sin as the ultimate failure.
Now, I think of not accepting grace and love as the ultimate failure.